D&C or Natural
First things first. When people hear “I had a miscarriage” they often think of it as an event or something that just happened instantly. In reality, a miscarriage is actually a process. For woman that start spotting (lightly bleeding) and their doctor confirms they are miscarrying, it could take a week for their body to pass all the pregnancy tissue, which was the case for my first miscarriage. For a missed miscarriage (or a silent miscarriage) where the fetus’ heartbeat has stopped and it’s stopped growing but no tissue has passed (because your body hasn’t realized that the pregnancy has ended), it can take anywhere from 3-4 weeks for the body to pass. This was the case with my 2nd miscarriage. Had my doctor not told me there was no heartbeat, I could have gone another 2-3 weeks before realizing it. I was about 3 months along and not spotting, so I opted for the D&C procedure because I didn't want to be walking around for another week or two with a deceased baby in me, anhd the horror of allowing it to happen naturally 2 years ago still haunts me to this day.
Once you see your doctor and they tell you that you’ve had a miscarriage, you’ll be asked if you want to pass it naturally or have a D&C (Dilation and Curettage).
Now the details of my experience with a natural miscarriage can be found here but there are a few things I remember that I want to share with you to consider before choosing this option.
1. Extremely painful- I remember being in the worst pain of my life. For woman that have been in labor before, it’s like one constant contraction. It’s a pain that I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy.
2. No Remains- When you have a D&C, regardless of how far along you are, the hospital will ask if you want to keep your baby’s remains. If you have a miscarriage naturally, you don’t really have that option and will have to dispose of the remains yourself.
3. No Recovery time- I’m speaking physically of course but once it’s done, it’s done.
4. Unannounced- While there is medication to help start the process, for the most part your body will start to push out the fetus and pregnancy tissue whenever it’s ready, no matter where you are.
I really hated the process of having a natural miscarriage. When it was happening, I went to the hospital hoping they’d give me something to help with the pain, but they literally stuck me in a room to just scream and labor alone. This 2nd time around I knew I wanted something different.
Before choosing to have a D&C procedure, here are some things to consider.
1. Costly- depending on how far along you are in your pregnancy, some insurance companies don’t cover D&C’s because they don’t deem them medically necessary. So, you could be slapped with a huge hospital bill while still mourning the loss of your little one.
2. Schedule- Unlike a natural miscarriage, a D&C is scheduled for a specific day and time. Mine was for 9am on a Friday, I knew I had to be at the hospital at 7:30am and would be back home by noon. For me, knowing when it would happen made it a little easier for me to start to heal emotionally.
3. Remains- While we didn’t choose to keep the remains, it was nice to have that option.
4. Memory Loss- There will be no painful memory of the process. The anesthesiologist will give you the option of being completely knocked out or being put into a dream-like state where you may remember bits and pieces. I was completely knocked out and all I remember was being rolled into the OR (operating room), asking them to play some spa music so I could relax and then waking up back in the hospital room with my husband.
While this is a personal decision for each mom or couple to make, in my opinion, a D&C is a far less painful experience.
I’ll be sharing a more detailed account of my D&C experience, next week!
